The Costly Knee Jerk Problem

by Juliana Trichilo Cina,

You simply cannot be an effective communicator unless you can control your feelings. Without this control you are always in jeopardy of losing your composure.

If a person or subject pushes your buttons, you will likely become defensive. It doesn’t matter whether your buttons elicit anger, sadness, arrogance, or any other emotion. As soon as you go into defense mode you have lost your ability to shape your conversation, lecture, speech, negotiation, job interview, conflict resolution, sales call, etc.

In order to be effective, strategic, and focused in any communications scenario, you need to take a few steps back and identify your buttons. If you know your sensitivities you might be able to remain objective and composed. You might be able to resist the knee jerk defense mechanism that will derail your strategic objective.


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Until next time, smile and be your best self!

Posted in Conflict Resolution, Job Interview, Negotiation Skills, Sales Skills, Self Awareness and tagged , , .


  1. ..can i ask a question??
    how can i control my feelings???
    i mean definitely “NERVOUS”,, i really can’t control it specially when i am in front of so many people, and of course when i am in an interview,, i really hate it..but i can’t help it!

    • The short answer is that you absolutely can control your feelings. The reality though is that it will take time and work. We are not taught to nurture our emotional intelligence the way we’re taught to nurture hard skills like math, spelling, etc. Just because you may have never worked on this before does not mean it is out of your reach. In fact, I believe you can definitely change this. I think it’s great that you even asked the question. It means you want to be different. You are more than welcome to give me a call at (877) 477-3250 for a free consultation. I’d be happy to chat about this. I do offer workshops and one-on-one coaching on soft skills like emotional intelligence. There are tools to help you overcome this challenge.

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