50 Ways to Control Anger
I’d love to talk about all the ways we can control anger. I wish I could write them all out. But there are so many. For now I will make a list. Hopefully these options truly help you. The truth though is that this is just a list. How to use these techniques is another issue altogether. I highly suggest you read this list but consider finding a class, coach, therapist, group or supportive person in your life that can help you explore these. You ultimately need to explore these for one that works for you and learn a new habit until you can leave your old ways behind. Here we go…
1. Regular meditation, therapy, coaching… ongoing self-help
2. Breathing through the tough emotions and conversations
3. Discover what the source of your anger is and deal with that
4. Learn to talk effectively through your issue
5. Walk away from conflict and stop before overreacting
6. Discover your triggers and who, what, when, where that trigger arises
7. Avoid people, places and situations that trigger you
8. Set new rules in your relationships (e.g. if I/you start yelling, the conversation ends)
9. Talk with more “I” perspective than “you” attacks
10. Learn the first sign in you that you are getting angry
11. Discover what physical signs occur when you get angry
12. Discover what behavioural things you do when you get angry
13. Discover what emotional issues you face when you get angry
14. Discover what thoughts you think when you get angry
15. Get to know your anger patterns so you can see your anger objectively
16. Stop your anger process as you notice it escalating according to your anger pattern
17. Learn your core beliefs and values and live in line with the healthy ones
19. Learn what rules and expectations you are using to maintain your anger
20. Change your environment to reflect your healthy core beliefs and values
22. Change your rules and expectations so you stop sabotaging yourself
23. Channel your anger into a good act (e.g. drive to fix a problem or adrenaline to overcome a tough challenge)
24. Use an “I get to…” perspective instead of an “I don’t want to…” attitude
25. Be honest with those you love. That means being vulnerable and talking about what truly bothers you.
26. Challenge yourself to be deeply self-aware. Be in touch with your feelings.
27. Learn to control your feelings instead of letting them control you.
28. Realize you have been choosing to let your anger control you because that was easier.
29. Take responsibility for the ways you have hurt others and yourself with your anger.
30. Ask for and earn forgiveness from others you have hurt through your anger.
31. Forgive yourself for all the ways you have hurt yourself and your loved ones.
32. Earn forgiveness through service. Work hard to help those who you have wronged.
33. Stop solving problems your way and be responsive to what others say they need from you.
34. Learn to listen like you have never listened before.
35. Have compassion for the people and situations that have made you angry in the past and going forward.
36. Have compassion for yourself. You can’t live and learn if you spend all your time beating yourself up.
37. Stop worrying about your needs and meet the needs of others first.
38. Realize that the way to getting your needs met is by first serving others.
39. Make yourself into a trustworthy and respectful person that is easy to love.
40. Ask yourself how YOU are making others wrong.
41. When you get angry, ask yourself what the situation and feelings remind you of in your past.
42. Appreciate anger for the gift it is. It alerts you to a problem. Stop hating the problem and turn to the solution.
43. Remember a time that you are proud of when you overcame a challenge, fear or angry situation. Be that person every day.
44. Put the people in your life before the issues that anger you.
45. When others are angry treat them with the gentle patience you show a child.
46. Realize there is a child in you that is throwing tantrums. Reason with that child in a caring way.
47. Show yourself the love and respect you want from others.
48. Don’t take bad treatment from others, especially if you can see how being treated badly is directly affecting your anger.
49. Think of a safe and happy place from your childhood and think about it every morning. Make it your mission to bring this safety and happiness to the world around you every day.
50. Find a way to release frustration that is healthy and perhaps even constructive (e.g. working out).
I could go on… but I think there is a LOT here for you to chew on. The fact is you need to be challenged. The ways you’ve been living your life is obviously not working if anger is causing deep strife for you. Call 1.877.477.3250 or email speakUP@jtcina.com to find out about our Anger Management and Conflict Resolution course options.
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