Where instinct ends

by Juliana Trichilo Cina, jtcina.com

Instinctively newborns know how to suckle. They need to eat and so their bodies are made to do so. Communicating is not as instinctual. Sure, babies will cry when they need changing, burping, or food; but, there’s nothing strategic about it. In fact, if mothers were not hard wired to love and care for their infants, the crying would be useless.

We have to learn to talk. We learn sounds and words. Eventually we put those words into sentences. “I want candy,” for example. When the words don’t get us what we want, that’s when we become strategic.

From the time we begin to speak, strategic communications becomes vital to our happiness. But it’s a skill we have to nurture and build over time. Nearly every child masters the art of parent manipulation at some point. So clearly our capacity to be masterful strategic communicators exists. But we simply don’t get the training we need to shape most of our communications to our advantage.

In a sales negotiation or a job interview, for instance, we may be too aggressive or shy. With communications training and practice we can change our rate of success in many areas of our lives. If a child can beat mom in a war of words imagine what a well trained adult can accomplish.


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Where instinct ends

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